The Up Side of Down

Drama. You want it? I got it. But that's not what the point of this is. No, it's about dealing with it. I feel I am becoming better at it. Read on...

So the last time we checked in, it had seemed like I had a good time with this girl. Apparently, she didn't have as great as a time. Or maybe she did, but she was "helped" by the margarita she had earlier. I digress, let me start from the beginning.

So I have been kind of feeling her for a while, but also for a while she has had a boyfriend. Although it wasn't a monumental moment in my life because of the (lack of) seriousness, I have been cheated on. A makeout session. And she knew she was going to break up with me, she just hadn't found the opportunity. So it's hard to get upset at that. But still, I never met the guy (still haven't, have no desire to) but I know how it feels. So in the situation with this girl, I wasn't going to be the other guy and make a move. However, we made plans to hang out on a Wednesday. What happened on Tuesday? She became single.

So Wednesday rolls around and she had a horrible day at work and wanted to take me up on the offer to go out and get some mexican food and a margarita. When we came back we watched Revolutionary Road (don't do this) and were getting very cuddly on the couch. It felt nice. Considering my last relationship lasted 3 years and this is the first girl that has even shown an interest since that time. Well, I thought she did. Went over the next night, and nothing. The touchy feely stuff was gone. Only a mere "you should rub my back" (which I did) occured. Left her house, had an awesome Friday that included my best friend visiting and us going to see No Doubt and Paramore, a lazy Saturday followed by a similar Sunday. However, that day was when I got the information that when I left, she called one of my good friends (the dude that actually got us talking in the first place) and he came over and they made out. Good times...

This actually came after I mustered up the courage to ask her what she felt about me and she replied that we could be more than friends "in the future." Then some other bs about her not being ready to go anywhere or what not. So pretty much, I felt like an idiot. A girl that I liked, that I thought liked me, invited a good friend of mine over, who I thought had my back, and they made out.

If you are still reading, then you might be wondering to yourself, "where does the title of this blog come from?" Well, it's my ability to deal with these situations. With my ex-girlfriend, it's hard for me to even drive in the town that she lives in. But I do feel I am getting better with that. But it took me a while. However, it only took me a day to get over this. I called my friend and talked with him. (I had actually gotten the story from a different friend, and when she told it, it genuinely seemed like he didn't know I had some kind of feelings for her). In a move I really wasn't expecting, he apologized for the misunderstanding, saying he wouldn't have done it had he have known. I actually believed him, but told him in hindsight it wasn't a big deal because there was nothing happening. So me and him are cool. As for this girl? Well, let's just say i'm not going to hold a grudge, and I like having new friends, but as far as her showing up in this blog, this may be the last time you hear of her.

So, the up side of down? It speaks to my optimism. I've been criticized for it before, but it helps me. So much so, that I am thinking of taking a huge step. I am thinking of reaching out to my ex. Not in a "get back together way," but try to get on talking terms again. I am tired of avoiding situations and am ready to face them. Let's see how this works out.

If this was too long and bored you, expect a random update soon.

(Not so) Random lyric of the day:

It's not that I don't trust you
well I just know what you've been up too
and well this dial tone is agreeing with everything I've had in mind.
and you've got your high as a kite tricks in the bag.

you're down for sellin' me out
while I play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you, thought I'd never catch you,
you'd say "we're only friends." yeah, real good friends, I bet. I bet.

forget your legs around my hips.
forget your hands pressed on my back.
forget the letters that I kept.
this is another I won't send