Ignorance is your new best friend

Paramore has a new song out (check out the title). The Used came out with a song last week. Both cd's come out in September. September is going to be a good month :)

Where do I begin? Did everybody have a good 4th? It could have been better for me, but it was still great. You see, I should throw out a warning, this post has the potential to be all over the place -- highs, lows, lefts and rights -- as I am probably going to write until I fall asleep.

Got to Crestview Thursday night and basically just chilled. Let me say for the record that I know the song "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage the Elephant is good, but the entire cd is great also. Perfect driving music. The next day my sister had to work, so my brother-in-law and I went to get him a new xbox (he got the dreaded red ring of death) and spent a few hours in Destin. Drank just a little bit when we got back, just enough to get tired, haha. (Ok Jme, I give you credit, but brother-in-law has officially been shortened to bil). He said that we were going to be asleep soon and after we decided to watch Madea Goes to Jail, 20 minutes later she was out. However, woke up the next morning to some awesome pancakes and bacon before we headed out to meet one of her friends in Destin. Attempted to watch some fireworks but it was kind of lame from our vantage point so we called it. Sister and her friend did more drinking than to get to sleep, so I laughed at them for a bit before said friend left and woke up to some outside family drama but we cooled it off by watching Zack and Miri. Basically chilled for the rest of the night, I skipped class this morning to stay the night there, but made my way back this afternoon amidst a monsoon of rain. Today was much of the same -- chillin.

So that was my weekend. Cool, but not very exciting. I skipped over the whole "drama" thing because I'm honestly tired of it and we are still sort of dealing with it. One reason is because I will be right back there this weekend, but that weekend has been planned due to UFC 100 and the Brock Lesnar fight. Should be some good times, let's hope.

I had some mixed feelings about this weekend. You see, last year on the fourth, there was a UFC fight that weekend. (We call them "Fight Nights" at my sister's). My girlfriend at the time accompanied me down there and though we had fought some weeks before, that weekend was the starting downfall to our eventual (final) breakup. A little backstory: even though I mention drinking here and there, I have my own personal convictions against drugs. I don't condemn people that drink, smoke and do all that, but I personally don't do it. I drink a little bit, but when I mention "drinking" in this conversation, I am talking more of people who are drunk 4 nights out of the week. But like I said, I would never say anything to said people as it is their choice -- same as it is mine not to. However, do to family history, the only people I do say stuff to is members of the family and REAL good friends. The number one thing I can't stand is cigarettes. Forget all the health risks, it is just plain nasty to me. And pretty much everybody in my family minus my dad has smoked and I have just been tired of it. Well before that weekend, I knew my girlfriend has smoked a few times. She said she did when she drank because it "made her more drunk." Well, I had always voiced my opinion. It was simply this: I'm not going to tell you not to, but I really don't want to be with a girl that does that. On this weekend, my sister and some other people are outside smoking, myself and some of the guys are inside playing video games or something, but the door swings open and there she is, smoking a cigarette that my sister gave to her. It messed me up for the rest of the night due to a couple of reasons. One thing I was thinking was "how could she do that knowing how I feel about it" and the other was "why am I getting so upset about this?" I tried to play it off, but I'm not good about hiding my emotions, she noticed and the next day we got into a huge fight about it. During the fight, I even realized that I was being a little controlling, even though I was trying my hardest to not. But I feel like the damage had already been done. She broke up with me about a month later (if you think this post is personal, wait till that time frame comes around). After it happened, I wished to take it back. I would try to convince her that I didn't care if she smoked, I would just deal with it. I didn't want something like that to keep us apart. It ultimately wasn't the cause, but i still feel it was a starting point. So yea, I feel like it's going to take a couple 4th of July weekends to erase that one.

Let's move on to some other topics: 2 things also happened that Saturday.

1) I got a text from J Beezy (name of "friend" i mention here in Auburn) that said Norah (check one of the last blogs) and her boyfriend had just broken up. However, the text came with a sad face. So my moment of happiness was turned to concern. Now, I'm sort of joking because I know this is something serious and like I said previously, I don't even know if she is even slightly into me, but it opens the door for something to maybe happen in the future. I'm not going to wait on it or nothing, but hey, it might happen?

2) Quite possibly the biggest news of the night. As mentioned in a previous post, my best friend Jme (not actual spelling) is getting married. However, we learned this weekend that instead of waiting for two years, the wedding will actually be in December of this year. Also, instead of just being an usher, I am now in the wedding party. My title? "Bridesman." That's right, it will be her sister, myself, and two other girls. I don't think this goes well for my whole gay image thing. But she is my best friend and if she asked me to wear a dress I would do it (please don't).

Not only is she getting married this winter, but she is doing a give away right now. Click here to see if you would be interested.

I have to give some props to some very important people. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I was kind of in a "funk" today and these guys made me laugh and snap out of it. Thanks.

Tomorrow looks like a good day. I'm going to sleep sort of early because I am worn out after lack of sleep last night and three hour drive today in nasty weather. So should get some good sleep here tonight and then get to download some Green Day tracks on Rock Band and then go see Public Enemies. So tomorrow's post should be better.

Random pics from this weekend:

gettin ready to go out

still rockin the razor

I didn't take this pic, but I like it

blurry fireworks

My sister and I -- taking pictures, it's what we do

Random lyric of the day:

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world

I'm in a glass case of emotion!

So it's currently near 2 in the morning. I have a class at 8. And I am still awake. Enough to write down my thoughts. Let's do this.

All the emotions I felt today...

bored: Started a new mini semester today, and my first class was... wow. The dude talked for the entire hour and a half. I thought I was the only one suffering until I heard the sighs coming from almost everyone else. It would have been funny if he wasn't so old.

proud: After class, I went on and spoke with my journalism adviser to talk about what classes to take, how many hours I still had left, etc. Anyway, we got to talking about my electives and I told her I thought I had about one or two classes left in my psychology minor. She told me I may need to check again. After talking to a psych adviser, turns out I have completed my minor for psychology. Officially, and I didn't even know. But I was pretty pumped.

crunk: As I have stated, there is a new roommate in the house. Well, I came home from class and I heard him blaring his music. You would think this is a bad thing, but with myself and the roommate big music guys, it actually made me happy. But what made me really happy was that he was playing "Everything Must Go" by Taking Back Sunday. I banged on his door till he opened it and we rocked out, haha. Good times.

blah: Last week, I tried texting my ex to see how she was doing. I would call, but she has a new boyfriend and I don't know, if she were to be with him, it would just feel weird. But after getting no response, she hit me up today. We chatted about Stephen Colbert's new haircut for a while, before it turned to the "how are you's" and then finally her boyfriend came up. A BIG part of me was about to pull the "I can't talk about this" card, but I sucked it up and at least answered the text. I feel I am getting better in that department and I will continue to be ok, until I see the first pic of them together or Heaven forbid, actually physically see them together. I think I might lose it, but then I will pull it together. I hope. August is going to be an interesting month, let's just say that.

concerned (with myself): speaking of the girl front, I feel my mind is making a mistake. It's starting to like someone I really shouldn't start liking. It's like when I watched Nick and Norah, I said to my friend, "I think I could fall for someone based on their playlist." Well, that's happening. And just so i'm not a complete weirdo, she is extremely cute. "Adorable" is the word my friend who I would not have known the girl in question about (for blog purposes, we will call her Norah, haha) without has described her. But there are SO many complications with this. Let's start with the major one: she has a boyfriend. Now, let's just keep going. She is starting her second year of college in the fall while I am starting my fifth and regardless of what anyone says, that just seems weird to me, she is VERY religous and while I don't have a problem with that I fear it may clash one day, and did I mention she has a boyfriend? Oh, and the fact that she has no idea I even think she is attractive. That damn self esteem thing is kicking in because she is also really skinny and i'm... not. And just in case I haven't said it, the whole boyfriend thing is a problem. Except that I hear he is a douche and she said in the car today that she was thinking of breaking up with him (not to me, just sort of out loud). But she has an AWESOME taste in music -- lil triva, she was actually at the Taking Back Sunday that I still have not posted about. I doubt anything is going to come of this, but I will still put her in the tags, just in case, haha.

Oh self, what do you do to yourself?

Random lyric of the day:

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of