It's Good To Be Back

I feel like I haven't had a real post in forever. If you count the Inglorious Basterds review, it hasn't been since the 20's of August. Now, that may not seem like a long time, but there was a time that I was going at it, churning out about 4-5 blogs a week. I don't know what happened, I guess I hit a stump. But that stops now... sort of.

This past weekend I wanted to sit down and give an update on all things Mr O. However, I was realizing that there was quite a bit I had to say and I was about to stuff it into one mega post. But I have done that before and got some good advice on maybe splitting them up and giving each subject its own attention. So that is what I'm going to do. So for this next week, I am dedicating myself to a post a night. To get these things off my chest. But there is a catch at the end.

After this week of blogging, I am done for a while. No, I am not necessarily taking a break, but I will admit I am in a slump and instead of not writing anything, I will be posting short videos for a while. These videos are going to consist of the ones we took we took during our road trip back in May. Some may be boring, some I feel are entertaining. But I do feel it will be cool to see the progression of the trip. And there are plenty of videos so when it's done I should come back with lots to talk about. So look out for those (and hopefully enjoy them) starting next week.

But now, let's start this week of blogging off with an update on my post from last week. This whole "getting it off my chest thing" is good because I want to talk about it once and then move on. It's sort of therapeutic that way. But here goes...

I know everybody has been in this situation. You hang out with someone from the opposite sex for long enough and sooner or later one or the other starts to have feelings. Maybe not 100% does it happen that way, but it's very rare that it doesn't. And even if you don't, everybody around you thinks you guys like each other anyway. I have been on both ends. The blogger from "this is me; consequently" is my bfff. We are that rare exception in that we have been friends and only friends and it has never gotten complicated and never will. We have the brother/sister thing going on where we each have to approve of the others significant others. And trust me, I have shown my disapproval before. But recently, with another friend, I found myself on the other end.

JB went to the same high school I attended, though I was leaving as she was entering. She made her way to Auburn last year, any by way of a mutual friend, we became casual friends at first. Soon, it became where we were hanging out with each other almost 4 nights a week on average. One thing that pulled us to each other was that we were both going through pretty serious break ups at the time and we kind of helped each other out. Just in a "hey, I know what you're going through" kind of way.

I had always thought she was attractive, but not enough to make a move. And at one point, I realized I needed a friend more than I needed someone to get with. So that's what we did. We became each other's best friend. I have been there for her during each asshole she has hooked up with and she has been there for me each time I relapsed so to speak with my ex and the one time I almost moved on to somebody new. However, my friends would ask about us. One specifically said "when are you going to hook up with her" and my answer was "it's not like I haven't thought about it, but we are just better friends."

Here might be the most lighthearted part of this post. The two of us decided to watch "Made of Honor" and I realized it was killing me to watch it with her. The more I watched it, the more I realized that the two people in that movie was us. To make things worse, Taylor Swift's newest song kind of reflects my situation (I know, weird that I am using her as a reference). But once again, we would sit in the car and jam out to it and that's when I started to notice I had feelings for her. I began to notice that when she would tell me about how these guys are doing her wrong, I just wanted to yell to her that I would be better than any of them. Whenever I would think of the girl I would like to be with, I realized it wasn't just a mystery person, but an image of her face that came to mind.

So, I decided I had to tell her. Mainly, because of those two dreaded words, "What If." The next day after I posted that blog, I went to her house. It got awkward for a few minutes cuz I didn't know how to start. But then I just took a deep breath and launched into it. Told her how I came to realize I liked her as more than a friend and that I knew it wasn't just me missing anybody, but that I liked being around her, and when I wasn't, I just looked forward to the next time I was.

When I was done, she said "Well I guess this is where I'm sposed to say something" followed by "I don't really know what to say." Needless to say, she didn't feel the same way. But it was cool. In my speech, I had said that if her reaction was that she doesn't feel the same, could we just go back to the way it was, and that's exactly what we did. Five minutes later, we were on youtube checking out some stupid videos. The next day, I went to her house and we jammed to some music she had. Nothing had changed. A week later, and everything is the same as it was two weeks ago. Which is great.

So in the end, though I didn't get the results I wanted, I'm glad I did it. I don't want to sound cocky, but I feel like she is missing out on finally being with that "great guy" she wants to be with. Maybe I am overlooked because I'm not exactly as "cute" as the other guys she has seen. I acknowledge the fact that I am not going be the guy at the party that all the girls want to hook up with. But I also know, once again without being cocky, that I am a better guy that 85% of those that the girls just want to hook up with. But going back to the end result, it felt good to take a chance. Though I wish she would have said something. At least a "that's really great to here, but I'm sorry I don't feel the same." But I got nothing. Like it was understood. That was the only part that sucks. But it could be a lot worse, so I'm not complaining.

So with that said, her story is done. It doesn't bother me. I went for something, didn't get it, and moved on. Simple as that. I still have her as a great friend, so I'm content. And who knows, maybe "that girl" will still come along someday. I'd sure as hell like to hope so.

If you actually read all this, Thank You. Seriously. Now I am off to listen to the rest of the new Muse cd.

Random lyric of the day:

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird cuz I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell (said farewell)
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
Cuz I saved a few and I keep them in a jar