So this month has finally arrived. After a year of anticipation, and not the good kind, August is here. The event that is the reason for the unanticipation doesn't occur for another few weeks or so, but still, it's here. I remember posting a blog on myspace a few months after the break up titled "August 2009" with the lyrics to a Vampire Weekend song that went "Then I see you You're walking cross the campus Cruel professor Studying romances How am I supposed to pretend I never want to see you again?" But I guess that's what I have to do now. Pretend. Or do I? Of all the awesome comments on the last post that I talked about this subject, the coolest thing to see was a bunch of people said I sounded like I was past what I once was. So maybe I won't have to pretend. Maybe I really never want to see her again. Honestly, I think it is that way. If I didn't have the knowledge that she was returning to school here, I would have nothing to be nervous about. But hopefully, it is like a lot of events in my life and I am making more of a deal than it really is. The one thing that sucks is it makes me realize that I want out of this town. It has been good to me, but I am ready to graduate, ready to move on, ready to get in this "real world" that everybody tells me about it. I know it's going to be hard and a slap in the face, but I'm ready to get slapped, ya know, so I can bounce back and get my life started. I just feel like for the next year my life is on pause. All I want to do is press play.
But hey, I guess if a month I am dreading is coming, it's nice to ring it in in style. On Tuesday, I went to Warped Tour and had one of the best days this summer. More details on that when I get all the pics together from the other two concerts of the summer (after I attend the Incubus one -- the last one -- in a couple of weeks). But last night I randomly got in the car and made the hour and a half trip to see Jme. Watched a couple not so great movies (New in Town, Inkheart) but got homemade doughnuts and was able to get out of the house and see a good friend, so it evened out the bad cinematic adventure. On my way home from her house, I stopped in Montgomery and visited with an old friend and it was really good catching up. After watching Flight of the Conchords for the first time at Jme's, when I got home I tried to go find a place to rent it, but I found it on sale and just purchased it. I have always heard the songs, but now seeing the episodes, it's like they come together. I have only seen the first three, but I am hooked. Then watched the first half of a movie in my top 30, Sleepers, before my roommate left and now I am here. Anticipating another lazy Sunday.
So I have a few ideas in the works. Some are for some regular posts in the style of Under My Covers, but one is for a guest blog contest. This will probably in my next post, so WATCH OUT.
Lastly, a week or so ago I was tagged by Love, Lila in her post "I'd Like to Thank the Academy". She revealed seven facts about herself, and I figured since I was tagged, I will do the same.
Before I do these, let me give a short description. Some of these are going to be the "boring" facts. You will see what I mean when the list starts. But first is about my name. For some reason, when I started I was really hesitant to use my name. I see a lot of people who use their name and some that use pseudonyms, but I've come to trust you guys. So while it will still be Mr O, cuz I just like that and it's easier, for you guys I guess I will introduce myself.
Fact 1: Mr O stands for Matthue Ryan Okarmus, my full name. I don't know what origin my last name is and my mom's story for the spelling of my first name is the drugs that she was on while giving birth gave her the idea. But it's unique.
Fact 2: I was born on December 15, 1986 in Modesto, California.
Fact 3: My parents divorced around the time I turned two. My mom went on to remarry four times but is currently single and living in California. My dad remarried two times, but is currently in a new relationship and living in Alabama.
Fact 4: How I got to Alabama was my dad's second wife joined the military when I was eight and she got stationed in Ft. Rucker, Alabama. We moved there, she got out of the army and we decided to stay.
Fact 5: My dad's third marriage was a parent trap sort of deal. My friend and I both had parents who were newly single and we decided to get them together. It worked and we were a family for 8 years before they divorced early this year. Though technically they are no longer together, we still consider ourselves sister and brother because we went through enough things to be considered family. That is the story of the sister in Crestview that I constantly talk about.
Fact 6: My mom's second marriage was to a Japanese man who produced my half, twin brothers. They are four years younger than me and grew up without me, them in California and myself in Alabama. We are as close as the distance allows and I have always hated this particular fact.
Fact 7: My Grandpa on my mom's and my dad's side are the two most influential people in my life, teaching me life lessons that I still carry to this day. Years ago, I found out neither were my biological relative. And I don't care.
So there they were. I would have made them more lighthearted, but I did those a month or so ago. And yea, i think it's cool if you guys get to know me now. But part of the rule is that I have to tag seven other people. There are a couple people that ALWAYS get tagged with stuff, so I figure I will give them a break. So here goes:
Lola Lakely at Lola Lakely: Life, Love, & The Pursuit of Insanity
Sarah.c.Kramm at Post Crown Chronicles
The Caped Tirader at The Caped Tirader!
Tennyson ee Hemingway at Andy Warhol Goes Shopping
Girl Interrupted at A World So Small
Soda and Candy at Soda and Candy Stories
Jaime at What Do You Say
You guys should have some fun with it.
Random video of the day:
Random lyric of the day:
I love it girl
The way your lip looks after you apply the gloss
I love you girl girl
You look right in the screen and take it off off
See I cant wait till I get a little taste of you
And I just upgraded to 10-80-i hi def just for you
My digital girl girl girl girl girl girl
Shes my digital girl girl girl girl girl girl girl
I have no siblings so I think the fact that you are close with a sister who is technically not is awesome. I would do it to if I could. Flight of the concords is pretty awesome from what I've seen. And lastly
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna rock this blog contest Mr. O style.
Awesome post! I think that the feelings you have about your ex returning to school are going to be up in the air until she actually gets there. It's just one of those things were the anticipation/dread is usually way worse than how it plays out once it actually happens.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being ready to get that life slap in the face over with. I think that's why my parents have been so worried about me and school. Because, though I'm in school, I hop around a lot (I moved to Florida in 2007, then moved back to Louisiana in 2008, and now I'm moving back to Florida next year). It's because I'm trying to do two things at once: find a place for myself where I'll be happy while finishing up school. It's been a struggle trying to get my parents to see it from my point of view, but I think we've agreed to disagree... I also don't think my dad believes that I'm moving next summer since I'm funding it myself and have yet to find another job...but that's a story I'll be talking about in my blog soon, lol, before I say too much. I'm rambling! Ack!
Anyway, back on track, you went through a lot of family stuff, wow. Thanks for sharing that :)
From someone who is in the real world, try not to get here to fast. Once you get in you can never leave again. Enjoy college and don't rush to get out of it. It really is the best time of your life.
ReplyDeleteAs for the X is you see her wave or nod your head to her. Blatantly ignoring her will only fuel her fire. Show her that you have moved on. I'm not saying have a huge conversation, but if you see her she will more then likely see you. Being the bigger person might be hard, but you'll sleep better at night knowing you over-came something you use to be afraid to happen.
Mr O, this is seriously one of your best posts so far. I realise that it was probably very difficult for you to write it, so I just wanted to tell you how brave and wonderful I think you are for opening up to all of us about such deeply personal stuff. You've taken memes to whole new level with this one, my friend - and you're going dangerously close to making me not hate them!
ReplyDeleteAnyway: August. It sounds like you've made serious progress in this area of your life, my friend... And, dare I say it, that you sound like you're pretty much over her? I know the next few weeks are going to be challenging for you as you remember the break-up, but from the way you've spoken about it in this post, it seems like you're approaching things in the best possible frame of mind. You're completely right that the anticipation is sometimes worse than the actual event we're worried about, and I'm sure that it'll eventually be that way when you see your ex for the first time at college. The first time you see her will probably be a bit hard, but seriously, it'll get easier with time. You're so ready for this. You can do it. And we're here for you if things get tough. You're so wonderful.
As for the "I need to get out of this town" feeling, I SO hear you. Sometimes, you just need to move on to new places, and have new experiences that can only happen when you've left old connections behind. You don't have long to go until you graduate (right?), so just hang in there. And after that, the world is your oyster! Maybe you could even fit in a bit of international jet-setting when you're done with uni... HA!
Your family life seems like it was pretty changeable for a while there, but you've become such an open-minded, accepting and loving man because of it. It's so special that you and your sister have such a strong relationship, and I am so glad that you guys are still so very close. I'll bet she loves it just as much as you do ;) I'm sorry, though, that you haven't been able to get the same kind of closeness with your brothers, though. Maybe if you eventually move back to California, you'll be able to get to know them a little better. Hope they enjoyed your radio show the other week with that hour of songs dedicated to them! I guess the story of your family really does show that it doesn't matter if you're not related by blood - you can be related to each other through love, and that's often worth more than just biology.
Anyway, rambling over. Awesome post, Mr O. And I'm writing that birthdate in my diary so I don't forget...
@jeanette:
ReplyDeleteyea, i actually have to not make it a music contest, cuz we both know who would win it
@lovelila:
thanks for the words, and I look forward to reading your story
@natalie:
I feel like I should come to you when I need that "tell it like it is" advice. So look out for that, maybe
@the girl:
wow, way too much to respond to but thank you SO MUCH for your comment. I will say these things though:
1)Due to me knowing how you feel about them, I am never going to tag you in a meme, but always feel free to do them if you want to.
2)thank you for all the kind words about my family and my current situation. They are always great to read
3)I'm counting on someone in Australia to remember my birthday
hey there Mr. O! It has been awhile. I was away from the blogosphere for a few days and lo and behold when I come back, I see that you have tagged me! I'll have to properly thank you for it later. ;) I love Flight of the Concords! Hilarious! Did you see the Lord of the Rings episode? Loved that one.
ReplyDeleteI did love learning more about you! The facts were interesting and quite well written. It sounds like you have a very complicated family! But honestly, it seems like you handled those complications with dingity, grace, and a sense of positivity that I don't think many people have. Some people would be bitter about it but it doesn't seem like you are. I think that means that you're a pretty strong person!
I think I already asked my random question of the blogging day! Oh no, wait there's more. I love Vampire Weekend! What's your favorite song of theirs?
Greetings Mr. O! First, I have been looking near and far for your blog. I may have visited a while back, and we are Followers of each other. I do think I'm glad to finally have find your pace in the blogosphere. Yes, it is a new month and we are a few days into it and I'm sure it will bring some wonderful days. Hopefully some cooler weather conditions, too. I surely did enjoy reading this post and it may not be my last time visiting!
ReplyDelete